How to Write a Proper Thank-You Note

Whether you’re thanking family friends for their hospitality at their lake home one weekend, or simply thanking Grandma for a birthday present, writing a thank-you note is an important and polite gesture. Unfortunately, those fill-in-the-blank cards are only appropriate until about age seven, and technological advances have lead us to believe that shooting a quick email will suffice. Writing a genuine thank-you note is still in vogue and much more respectful than a call or email. Follow our easy steps to write a genuine thank-you.

• Send notes in a timely manner. Various occasions have differing guidelines, but the best bet is to send a thank-you card as soon as you have time to sit down and write one.

• Use appropriate stationary. You don’t have to buy any fancy or expensive note cards, but ripping a piece of paper out of your notebook is unacceptable. Simply designed cards are perfect and allow you to set your own tone through wording. We love this simple and sophisticated folded card from Paper Source: http://www.paper-source.com/cgi-bin/paper/item/Iron-Fence-A2-Embossed-Stationery/3902.020/4661007371.html
• Greet the gift-giver. The beginning of your thank you note should be addressed to the individual(s) who signed the card. Elders should be referred to by their formal titles (e.g. Mr. and Mrs. Jones), unless they have previously given you permission to call them otherwise.
•  Express your gratitude. Simply thank the individual for his or her gift, and be sure to express this gratitude in the politest way possible. Don’t directly mention money, but rather thank the individual for his or her generosity. You can also give an example of how you plan to use the item or cash to your advantage (again, discretion and overall courtesy is key!).
• Show interest in the individual. Don’t write a novel about your relationship with the individual, but politely mention how great it was to see them recently or how you hope to cross paths soon.

 

Here’s a quick example of a thank-you note one may send after receiving money for graduation:

 

Dear Aunt Michelle,

Thank you very much for your generous gift! Your kindness is certainly appreciated, and will surely be a huge help when I purchase a bedspread for my new dorm room. It was fantastic seeing you at Lauren’s birthday party last weekend, and I hope to see you when I am home for Thanksgiving break. I hope things are well; you are in my thoughts! Thanks again for your gift.

With Love,

Jessica

Thank-you notes don’t need to be lengthy, but simply show appreciation and thanks for someone’s kindness. 

Andrea’s Gift Guide for College Students

For Him:

1. One for One. That is Toms’s motto. For every pair of shoes sold they give a pair to a child in need. What could be better than that? Get a little give a little.

For Her:

1. No one likes walking to class – or anywhere else for that matter – in shoes that get your feet soaked. Hunter boots are a necessity for icky weather. Best of all they will last for years!

2. Queen’s Poppy King created these lipstick shades for Kate Spade New York. They are bold,  and most of all, fun.

For Both:

1. This little gadget boils water in about 30 seconds. This watched pot will boil! It is also energy efficient for your green gift-getter. Got an avid tea-drinker on your list? This is the perfect solution!!

2. Wallpaper City Guides are the best travel guides around. They offer the most up to date information on over 80 cities written by both magazine editors and residents. Whether visiting for 48 hours or 2 weeks, these guides will ensure a trip nothing short of fulfilling.

                                 3. Music, apps, T.V., movies and more. Everyone can use this iTunes gift card!!

Greek Life Glossary

With so many schools participating in and completing both men’s and women’s formal recruitment recently, we compiled a list of common Greek terms that are important to understand. Below are some of the vocab words you may hear as a member of a Panehellenic or IFC organization.

Active: A fully initiated member of a fraternity or sorority

Bid: An official invitation to join a Greek organization

Chapter: The formal name of the local organization of a national fraternity or sorority

Fraternity: A Greek organization typically understood as being restricted to men; however, women’s organizations can also be traditionally defined as a fraternity

Minority Greek Council (MGC): Governing body of minority Greek organizations

National Panhellenic Conference (NPC): Governing body of national sororities

National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC): Governing body of national black Greek organizations

Philanthropy: A Greek organization’s specific organization that members donate volunteer hours and the organization often donates money

Pin: Specific badge or symbol worn by a member of a fraternity or sorority

Potential New Member (PNM): Formal name for an individual participating in recruitment

Recruitment: The formal process of engaging PNMs to join a Greek organization

Recruitment Guide (also Rho Gamma, Rho Chi, Greek Councilor, etc): A disaffiliated member of a sorority or fraternity designated to aid PNMs through the recruitment process

Sorority:  A Greek organization restricted to women

Those are many of the formal terms you may hear when you’re thinking about going Greek. You may also hear a few of the following terms throughout recruitment: 

Dirty Rushing: Refers to the forbidden act of sorority actives promising PNMs a bid, contracting PNMs outside of the allotted time within the house, giving PNMs gifts, or any other prohibited and unethical form of recruiting

Dry Rush: Alcohol is forbidden at all fraternity/sorority recruitment events

Dropped (or cut): An individual is not invited to return to a Greek organization during recruitment

House: May refer to the actual structure of a sorority or fraternity. Also an informal name for a sorority or fraternity itself (eg “What house are you a member of?”).

Hotboxing: More than one sorority active speaks to a PNM at one time during recruitment

Pledge: New Member of a fraternity or sorority who has not been initiated into the organization

Pledge Class: Group of individuals that have participated in recruitment, accepted their bids, participated in New Member education and events, and been initiated during the same year

Pledgeship: Designated amount of time between bid acceptance and initiation into the Greek organization

Ranking: The process of a Greek organization selecting members to return to their house during recruitment, and the simultaneous process of a PNM of selecting which houses she would like to return

Rush: Informal name for the formal process of recruiting PNMs to join a Greek organization

Rushee: An individual participating in recruitment (PNM)

Suicide: The act of scoring or ranking only one Greek organization after the preference round of recruitment (if said individual does not receive a bid to the scored organization, the individual does not receive a bid to any Greek organization). This is the outdated way of defining “intentional single preference”.

Don’t Forget: Packing for College

Of course you remembered your clothes, a desk lamp, (extra-long) sheets, and all the other dorm room essentials that you use every day. However, there are some necessary and easily forgotten items that you should be sure find a place in your dorm to make a comfortable transition from home to campus.

Sleep Essentials: You may be used to your quiet bedroom and hours of luxurious and uninterrupted sleep. Cut to the dorm room, where not only do you share the room with another person, but you share the building with hundreds of other students.

• If your noisy neighbors keep you from getting a restful night of sleep, purchase a sleeping mask and earplugs.

H20 Essentials: I remember chatting with fellow out-of-state student at orientation who asked if I had tasted the tap water in our college town. Confused, I of course went home and tried the tap water…and it tasted like dirt! A water filter can clean any questionable contaminants and tastes out of tap water.

• A Brita filter is inexpensive and can be easily found at Target or Wal-Mart. Pour your filtered water into a reusable water bottle and you can save tons of cash instead of buying water bottles.

Rain Essentials: One item I completely forgot to pack when I went off to college was my favorite pair of rain boots! On that first rainy day I was one of the only students running to class in my flip-flops and t-shirt, drenched head to toe. With few exceptions, no matter where you go to school you’re going to run into a rainy day.

• Be sure to pack rain boots, an umbrella, and a rain jacket to keep dry!

Laundry Essentials: It’s easy to remember detergent, fabric softener, and dryer sheets. However, if you plan on using the washing machines in the dorms, you’ll need a few rolls of quarters to put those other laundry necessities to use!

While we suggest making some extra room for these items, it’s important to remember that college dorm rooms are very tiny. A few things to leave a home when you’re packing for college:

High School T-shirts: You’ll receive an absurd amount of free t-shirts in college, and your “Class of 2011” senior shirt will end up getting stuffed in the back of your drawer.

• Leave the old t-shirts at home, or send them to a company that specializes in making t-shirt quilts that you can use on your bed.

 Extra Pillows: After pledging a sorority, purchasing a koala Pillow Pet I just had to have, and the Peep pillow my grandma insisted on sending to me for Easter, I had trouble finding a place to sleep amongst the unnecessary pillows all over my bed.

• Although adorable, leave the decorative pillows at home; these pillows will end up taking up what little floor space you have left.

Fancy Formals: Sports teams, clubs, sororities, and fraternities often throw date nights and formals.

• However, long Prom dresses aren’t college-appropriate and you’ll be more apt to wear short cocktail dresses to these types of events.

Common Etiquette Mistakes

The Real Life 101 team agrees that proper etiquette is an important aspect of every day life. We asked our etiquette expert, Jennifer Indyk, to share some of the most common mistakes she sees.   Here were her thoughts:

Many people make introductions in the wrong order:

• The person of greater authority is mentioned first: “Mrs. President, may I present Mr. Vice President.”
• Introductions should be done immediately and by whomever knows both parties.
• When being introduced, offer right hand immediately for a handshake, make eye contact, smile and say something like “It’s nice to meet you” or “How do you do?”

It is a mistake to not leave your phone number on a voice mail message because you just know the other person has it.

Do not show up late to an appointment.  Be on time; arriving late shows a lack of respect.

At the table, it is important to understand which place setting is yours.

• Your glassware will be on your right and your bread plate on your left.
• Your fork will be on your left and spoon on the right.

Use cutlery with care.

• Hold cutlery with fingers; not fists.
• Do not gesture with your cutlery.
• Once you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again.

Napkin use:

• Do not tuck the napkin into shirt.
• The napkin goes on your lap as soon as you sit down.
• Dab the corners of your mouth with the napkin.

It is a mistake to pass the salt or pepper alone.

• Always pass the two together, even if someone requests you to pass only one.
• Just place both in front of the person requesting them.

Buttering Bread:

• Do not take the butter directly from the dish and place it on your bread.
• Rather, place a pat of butter on your bread plate first; then spread it on the bread.
• Bread is to be torn, not cut.  Tear off a piece of a roll, butter and then eat, one piece at a time.

Do not put anything on table; this includes a cell phone or PDA.

Always pass food to the right.

Do not push away or stack your dishes.

Never blow on liquid to cool it.

Elbows are not permitted on the table when there is food on the table.

Remember these guidelines to avoid confusion and embarrassment when it really matters.

6 Unhealthy Eating Habits You Need to Break

1. Skipping Breakfast. Between hitting the snooze button three times, scrambling to get ready, and making it to work or class on-time, sometimes it’s to tough to find the time to eat breakfast in the morning. However, nutritionists agree that skipping breakfast is an eating faux pas!  Everyone has heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but why?

• Breakfast not only gives you energy first thing in the morning, but also jumpstarts your metabolism for the day. Metabolism is linked with weight loss, so eating in the morning may actually lead to weighing less! You will also have more energy to work out and stay active throughout the day if you eat when you wake up.

 2. Not Eating. This unhealthy and unproductive eating habit is also linked to metabolism. The Mayo Clinic explains that metabolism is the process your body performs in order to convert food and drinks into energy to carry out physical processes (even when you’re resting, metabolism creates the energy to breathe and circulate blood through your body).

• If you don’t eat, your body may initially drop pounds, but you’ll end up retaining as much weight as possible. If you don’t eat, your body will hold the calories needed to perform these functions, even if you’re not eating.
• Skipping meals also leads to increased hunger later in the day;  even if you saved yourself a few extra calories by skipping lunch, you’ll probably overeat to compensate by the time dinner rolls around.

3. Binging. It goes without saying that overeating to the point of discomfort is never healthy. We’ve all gone back for seconds (or thirds…) after a tasty Thanksgiving meal, but it is an unhealthy habit if you find yourself binging on a regular basis. If you skip a meal, you’ll probably end up binging later because you’re so hungry.

•  The best way to avoid this harmful habit is to stay comfortably full throughout the day, and never let yourself reach the point of starvation.

4. Late Night Munchies. When you eat late at night, you’re probably rolling through a fast-food restaurant or grabbing a slice of pizza after a night out with your friends. Not only are these foods generally unhealthy and calorific, but also your body will not be able to fully digest and burn the calories while you sleep.

• If you desperately need a snack after a night of partying, opt for some raw veggies or a hundred-calorie pack snack!

5. Eating When You’re Thirsty. It’s easy to mistake thirst for hunger; sluggishness and headache are common signs of dehydration, and these ailments can also strike when you’re hungry.

• If you don’t think you’re getting enough fluids (The Institute of Medicine suggests men drink about 3 liters of water daily, women should drink 2.2 liters daily), try having a glass of water before chowing down.

6. Distracted Eating. If you grab a bag of pretzels and plop down on the couch for your favorite night of TV, you may reach for a handful and realize you’ve plowed through all the snacks. Distracted eating in front of the TV or computer is unhealthy because it is easy to focus on the TV show or website without paying attention to eating habits; you may be eating when you’re completely full if you’re focused on something else.

• If you’d rather not eat in silence, portion your meals and snacks before you turn the TV on or open your laptop so you’re not tempted to keep eating.

What We Wish We’d Known Before College

By Jessica Bly

Before freshman year of college, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by every aspect of college: What should I pack? How will I make friends? Should I stay in a relationship with my boyfriend or girlfriend?

I consulted my friends from colleges across the country to compose a comprehensive list of all the things a freshman should know before moving on campus.

1. Pack lightly.

Whether you are traveling across the country or going to a school close to home, it’s important to be realistic when packing for college. Don’t pack every pair of shoes you own, because you will not only be cramped for space in your dorm, but you probably won’t wear half of what you bring.

• Also keep in mind that you will probably borrow clothes from your roommate or other friends, so your wardrobe will most likely be expanded. One of my closest friends warns: “Don’t bring knick knacks!” –Emily Glaze, Elon, Class of 2013.
• Be sure to buy certain necessities after you get a look at your room; for example, you may buy tons of storage containers and realize that your closet actually comes equipped with excellent shelving. 

2. It may take time to find close friends.

If you’ve had the same tight-knit group for years, it can be frustrating when you don’t find best friends immediately at your new school. It will take time to meet and get to know other individuals, so be patient!

•  It is also important to understand that the first few friends you make at college might not be your closest friends in a few months: “It’s so important to branch out and not cling to the first people you meet or just people on your floor. Those people might be great acquaintances but you will probably find your close friends through common interests and activities.” –Allison Kipke, Connecticut College, Class of 2013

 3. It’s OK to be overwhelmed!

If you’ve lived at home for eighteen years and suddenly find yourself hours away from everyone you know, it’s normal and understandable to be homesick, and even scared! It is also important to realize that everyone feels this way.

• Call up a friend from home or a relative if you’re feeling homesick. If you really feel down, it’s completely acceptable to speak with teacher or counselor; they can help you find a way to be less overwhelmed and more relaxed at your new school.

4. Be careful at college parties. 

College parties can be, in a word, insane. Even if you consider yourself party savvy, college parties aren’t comparable to other types of social functions. There will be plenty of strangers and alcohol surrounding you at every party, so our advice is to use your best judgment. My sorority requires each member to have a “party buddy” for each mixer or formal; party buddies are required to arrive and leave a party together. Although sometimes frustrating when you want to leave a party and your buddy is still on the dance floor, it’s best to stick together at all times to ensure everyone’s safety.

• As for the alcohol*, “Don’t drink the punch!” –Audrey Taylor, TCU, Class of 2013. Sometimes referred to as “jungle juice” or “trashcan punch”, this particular drink is usually made of just about any type of alcohol, juice, and soda, mixed together in a large container. The concoction will end your night pretty quickly.
•  Another important note about college parties is that, for the most part, they are all pretty similar. If you have a test on Friday morning and your friends are hitting up a fraternity party on Thursday night, know that you probably won’t miss much that you can’t experience the next night: “I wish I’d known how to stay in before tests and stuff. Showing up to my speech at 8am after Mardi Gras still drunk will go down in history-I completely failed that!” –Jill (name changed) Class of 2013.

 5. Consider all aspects of your long-distance relationship. 

It’s impossible to tell anyone to break-up or continue a relationship through college without knowing the individuals.

• It is wise to have a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend to discuss both of your expectations for the relationship when you’re both away at school. One of my closest friends from college had a boyfriend for the first few months of our Freshman year, and she says: “No one can tell you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you come to college; that’s for you to decide. But just know you need to go to college with the open mind to meet new people so you can have new life experiences.” –Ashton Minter, TCU, Class of 2013

 6. Wait to buy your textbooks. 

• Textbooks can be extremely expensive, so wait until after your first few classes to purchase any books. Sometimes professors are simply required to offer a textbook for the course, but they won’t end up using it at all!
• For the textbooks you will end up needing for classes, don’t immediately run to the bookstore. Chegg.com, Half.com, and other websites and resources provide much better deals on books.

 7. It goes way too fast.

Everyone has heard that “college is the best time of your life”. It’s pretty tough to really understand and appreciate how wonderful and adventurous your college years will be before you even get there, so just keep in mind that it’s important to really soak up every moment of your time in college.  Academics and acquiring the skills needed for your future are, of course, the key elements of college, but remember to have fun!  “Sometimes it’s hard to notice it at the time because you’re stressed about being in a new environment, but freshman year is such a blast- you have to relax and enjoy it!” –Audrey Taylor, TCU, Class of 2013

*Real Life 101 does not support underage drinking, and reminds you to always drink responsibly.

Did we miss anything? Comment and tell us what you wish you would’ve known before you left for college!

Healthy Living Part 4: Know Your Numbers

Knowing some important numbers, and truly understanding what these numbers mean, is an extremely important step to healthy living. Check with your doctor or calculate these numbers yourself in order to determine how you can adjust your eating and exercise habits for a healthier and improved lifestyle.

Check your blood pressure.  It should be really no higher 120/80.  What do blood pressure numbers indicate?

1.     The top (systolic) number represents the pressure while the heart contracts to pump blood to the body.

2.     The bottom (diastolic) number represents the pressure when the heart relaxes between beats.

Diastolic high blood pressure refers to the blood pressure in between muscle contractions. Doctors and medical experts have stated that diastolic high blood pressure should be taken seriously because it causes more harm to the body than systolic does. Higher rates of diastolic pressure cause adverse effects on the brain, heart and kidney. Individuals with high diastolic blood pressure should try to maintain this number below 90.

If you find that your pressure is above 140 systolic, (the top number) then you have hypertension.  If your pressure is above 90 diastolic, (the bottom number) you have hypertension.  Many people do not have symptoms until something “bad” happens, however, by then the damage has been done. Hypertension is often referred to as the silent killer, and leads to increased risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, kidney failure, and blindness.  If you have high blood pressure, be sure to take your medication as your doctor has prescribed it.

Check your cholesterol.   Your total cholesterol should be below 200.  Your HDL is your good cholesterol, and  the number is raised by exercising.  The HDL cholesterol should be about 50, and the higher the better! Your LDL is your “bad” cholesterol, and this cholesterol should be under 100.  To help you remember which is which, your HDL is happy and your want it to be high.  Your LDL is your loser cholesterol and you want it to be low.  Silly mnemonic, but it works!

Check your blood sugar. Fasting sugar should be under 100. Any isolated level over 200 grants you access into the wonderful world of diabetes.  Diet and exercise as well as maintaining an ideal body weight are the first steps to avoid diabetes!

Check your Body Mass Index (BMI). Many websites offer a BMI calculator; all you need to do is enter your height and weight and it will compute your number. Under 18.5 is considered underweight. Normal is 18.5 to 24.9.  Over weight is 25 to 29.9 and anything over 30 is considered obese. Check out this simple BMI calculator provided by the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute! 

Knowledge is power, so know your numbers.  If you know them you can control them, and if you don’t then the numbers can control you!

Tipping Etiquette 101

One of my favorite restaurants suggests in bold letters at the bottom of their menu “18% gratuity is appropriate and recommended.” With restaurants suggesting how much to tip before you even place an order, appropriate tipping etiquette may be confusing. When do you leave a generous tip? Is it ever acceptable to leave no tip at all? We’ve created a little cheat sheet of the modern guidelines when it comes to gratuities and tipping etiquette.
Restaurant Dining: Tipping used to show an individual’s appreciation for exceptional service. Restaurants now factor in tips as a way to lower wages, and therefore it is customary to leave:

• 15% gratuity for average service.
• 20% is recommended for exceptional service. 
• 10% gratuity is appropriate for less-than-mediocre service. 

It is never appropriate to leave a nickel or dime out of spite, and the manager should be confronted privately if the service does not deserve even 10% gratuity.
Tip Jars: Many small establishments, such as coffee bars and ice cream shops, have a tip jar next to the register. Because these tips are shared between all employees, it is not necessary or expected to leave a tip.

• Frequent patrons should drop in a few bucks from time to time. 
•  This guideline can be applied to bar service as well. 

Private Parties: It is not recommended to tip servers or bartenders at private parties, unless the server has provided extraordinary service.

• Etiquette experts suggest a small tip of appreciation in special circumstances, such as help when you spill on your shirtfront.

There are a few other situations when it is customary to leave a small tip:

• Valet parker: $2-$5
• Doorman: $5 for hailing a cab (more generous tips are recommended around the holidays for doormen you encounter regularly)
• Coat check clerk: $1-$2
• Hairdressers, barbers, manicurists, etc.: 10% of total bill (more is recommended during the holiday season)
• Taxi driver: 15% of total bill
• Skycaps at airport: $1-$2 per bag
• Grocery loaders: $1-$3 depending on the number of grocery bags

Sources: How to be a Gentleman, John Bridges
Essential Manners, Peter Post

Save that Shirt! Stain Removal Tips

If you have ever spilled on your favorite shirt, you know the disappointment that ensues when you take the shirt out of the washing machine and a huge stain still remains. However, there are steps you can take to treat a stain before washing to aid the removal and make certain that you will wear your favorite shirt once again!

• Treat stains as soon as possible! The longer a stain sets, the harder the stain will be to remove.
• Don’t immediately run to the bathroom and start scrubbing with a bar of soap; basic soap and rubbing will only drive the stain further into the fabric.
• If you are rinsing a stain, stick to cold water since warm water can also make certain stains permanent.
• Gently blot with a sponge when treating stains since scrubbing or vigorously rubbing could also set the stain.
• Check all garment instructions and tags before you bleach, launder, or treat any article of clothing.
• Keep a Tide-To-Go pen in your purse or car to pretreat any stains that might occur when you are out and about.

Here are a few remedies for common stains:

Beer or Soda: Mix liquid detergent and white vinegar and apply to the stain.

Berries/grape juice: Mix liquid detergent and 5% diluted ammonia and apply to the stain.

Blood (dry): Mix liquid detergent and 5% diluted ammonia and apply to the stain.

Butter: Butter is a protein so try using acetone on the stained item. Do not use warm water on these stains, and check the laundered item before throwing it into the dryer; you may need to treat the stain again, and heat from the dryer may set the stain permanently.

Coffee: Mix liquid detergent and white vinegar and apply to the stain.

Grass: Pretreat the stained area with detergent, and then bleach the stain. BE SURE to read garment instructions fully to be sure the item can be bleached.

Ink: Try acetone then detergent on ink stains. If the ink is stubborn, you can also try paint remover.

Nail Polish: Acetone is a key ingredient in nail-polish remover, so it’s no wonder acetone is the stain-remover of choice if you happen to spill nail polish on your clothes!

Wine: Mix liquid detergent and 5% diluted ammonia and apply to the stain.